Eros from a tantric perspective

Eros from a tantric perspective

Eros is defined as a universal force, an engine or vehicle that causes all things to strive for perfection. It is a desire of the soul that helps us remember what is perfectly beautiful, and by striving for it, we gain access to Truth. This view on Eros is shared by the Tantrics, who use this energy of Eros to accelerate the spiritual path toward complete inner freedom.

Today we have lost this deep understanding, clear definition, and high perspective on Eros; the terms Eros and Eroticism have taken on a completely different meaning. They are usually used as a synonym for the term sexuality and are used to point to all kinds of experiences, from the most refined and sublime to the grandest and most complex. While in ancient times Eros was directly linked to spirituality, the religious world today would raise an eyebrow when hearing tantrics call Eros Godly.

What happened to Eros as the pure and holy source of sweet delight? And what exactly is the difference between Eros and Sexuality?


Pure Eros versus sexual energy


The Tantric view on creation distinguishes between two fundamental creative forces that we all have access to. One of the creative forces is the force we call sexual. The purpose of this force is to procreate all species, both human and animal, for the preservation of us all. It is an instinctive force that has a downward direction as it condenses the highest and most divine energy in the world into creation or manifestation. It is a manifesting energy that moves from the most abstract, universal and undifferentiated, toward the most dense, formed and individualized. It is an instinctive impulse that has a selfish and inferior flavor.

The second creative force, is erotic energy, which is an uplifting force, the so-called liberating energy. It moves in the opposite direction: from the more contracted, differentiated and manifested to the more liberated, expanded and free. We use this kind of creative energy, for example, when we create inspired poetry, great scientific works, or we can use it when we make love. It is a pure and refined energy that uplifts us and has a sublime flavor.

At the Lila Tantric Massage Center in Vila Nova de Gaia, we offer the opportunity to feel the power of the second creative force, pure eros, and the profound effects it has on the soul when we come in contact with it. 

We can recognize the creative sexual energy in our daily life, when we begin to feel heavy, tense, goal-oriented, tired, contracted, in touch with frustrations, shame, guilt, impurities, selfish desires, full of fears and worries. We can recognize creative erotic energy in our daily lives when we feel light, free, connected, happy, fulfilled, open, alive, spontaneous, playful and expansive.


Two downsides of sexual energy


Since most people don't know this difference between sex and Eros, it is very common for the two to be used in a mixed way. People can have glimpses of eros and at the same time have some sexual behaviors and it all becomes a difficult mix to sort out. Even though sexual energy has its purpose in creation and is therefore not negative as such, it can nevertheless have some undesirable effects on our couple relationship, love life, and sensuality when we get involved in it and mix it with erotic energy and love.

One problem with sexual energy is that it is a blinding force. It is an energy that flows out of the ego or personality and makes us feel as if we are wearing some kind of blindfold. It is very focused on its own desire, and generates an instinctive feeling of just going for what you want. It is the drive of a goal-oriented blinding desire. To get to that sexual fulfillment that it desperately craves, it makes it give in to a specific experience that can even make it lose all rationality and common sense. The realization of such experiences is of a temporary nature, usually only generating more desires, gradually enslaving us.

Another problem with sexual energy is that it has an inclination to amplify all the negative tendencies we have towards sexuality and couple relationships. Therefore, when we engage in sexual energy, we usually increase feelings of attachment, frustrations, possessiveness, feeling dependent on someone, jealousy, feeling abandoned for no real reason, etc. This makes us believe that only this person can make me feel happy and fulfilled, and the sticky, heavy energy of sexual energy attaches us to them.


Three qualities of pure eros


While sexual energy blinds us, erotic energy awakens us. Eros is strongly connected with love, with passionate, loving, and pure love. The love that is uplifting and gives us wings to fly. One instance in which we all experience the burning power of the awakening of eros is therefore when we fall in love. At such times, simply looking into the eyes and touching the hands of another gives us so many emotions, inspirations, and understandings about each other and about life. Eros makes us wake up, feel alive, and understand the world around us better; look at it with the fresh eyes of a newborn baby.

In the tantric massage we offer when our guests leave, they are often full of inspiration and aspiration as they have received an awakening impulse, as Eros has this power of inspiration and aspiration to go and fulfill their dreams in their life.

A second quality of Eros is that it brings instant and lasting fulfillment. Unlike sexual energy, which always seeks more, Eros creates intense, instantaneous fulfillment from the smallest gestures and actions. You will feel fulfilled and complete. The smallest things can make your heart overflow and your face shine with a glint of love's light. A moment of looking across the room can be so deeply fulfilling that you no longer need to feel like you are walking on clouds for hours after you leave. It frees you from any goal, any desire, or any expectation.

Third, Eros also has a profoundly healing effect, from physical, emotional, mental problems to sexual or emotional trauma, and in terms of reviving and healing relationship issues. It helps unblock energies, helps with sexual blockages (frigidity, premature ejaculation, etc), and aids in awakening sensuality, spontaneity, disinhibition, and affective openness.

Pure Eros unites us with the Source


When we distinguish Eros from Sex and learn to purely master the creative energy of Eros, we can experience Pure Eros. Once you cultivate pure eros in your life, the world that opens up, is a world that many of us don't even know exists. It is a world of beauty, happiness, love, fulfillment, sensuality, and the most uplifting pleasure. It is as if you open a door to a different universe within yourself and between you and your beloved that is simply heavenly.

Since Eros is a liberating energy, which transports us into the most universal of energies, it connects us to the highest aspects of reality. It puts us in touch with the most sublime, the highest, and the purest. This is why Tantrics do not reject erotic energy on the spiritual path, but instead emphasize its great value. They avoid - like all other spiritual paths and religions - sexual energy, since it would only amplify the ego. On the other hand, Pure Eros awakens the soul and by increasing our resonance with this energy can create a divinity within us.

The beginning of this is the realization that you can simply be who you are and who you want yourself to be. You feel deeply, your essence and your natural being comes out. It is the liberating feeling that you can finally be yourself, without putting on masks or playing games, but just being. It helps you feel very pure, transcending your ego, connecting you to your heart, your soul, your essence, and to your beloved, seeing her essence, seeing something very sublime, even archetypal or perfect. Eros unites you, unites you to yourself, to your core, to your beloved, and even to everything that exists and the source of it all: God, the universe, or the Absolute.


Tantric Massage: the perfect place to feel Pure Eros


Like all spiritual paths, Tantra is a path of evolution, which aims to reach perfection and the source from which we all come. For this reason, it is essential to learn this difference and purely cultivate the erotic energy, which can accelerate us on this path toward the divine. 

In order to cultivate this energy within us, we first need to clearly learn to feel the difference, in our touch, thoughts, desires, attitudes and behavior. This counts for both the one giving a massage and the one receiving it. When your mind is merely focused on the physical aspects, the friction, the pleasure, the desires and getting a specific experience, or when you feel frustrated when it doesn't happen the way you want it to, you get caught up in the sexual energy, naturally taking you down. Whereas when you feel your heart opening, feel more refined sensations, feel free, without a goal, present here and now, enjoying what is, a deep connection with others and more sublime desires, aspirations and inspirations awakening, you are in the erotic current, naturally lifting you up.

When you are focused on simply obtaining the pleasure you desperately desire, you find yourself on the sexual escalator that takes you down. Whereas, when you somehow allow yourself to be more and more induced with the erotic feelings and states, it grows and amplifies within you until you are suddenly overwhelmed and can even experience orgasms in surprising and never-before-expected ways.

At Lila, we hope to ignite everything with the transformative fire that the experience of pure Eros brings, and the enlightening wisdom that comes from knowing the difference between the sweet taste of eros and the sour sensation of sex. Through our genuine tantric massage we want to offer you a taste of this paradise hidden on earth today waiting to be discovered.