The Art of Making Love
How does the average man make love?
At the beginning of a lovemaking, a state of arousal arises, caused by an inner impulse, possibly stimulated by an erotic context (dancing, lingerie, etc.). The desire amplifies and turns into tension and an erection appears, which is expressed by a need for penetration. The man wants to possess the woman immediately. If the woman gives in to his desire, and sometimes even without foreplay, the man penetrates her and feels a great inner power.
The pleasure increases as he goes through a plateau phase where intense desire and pleasure mix. At the same time, the man's desire to climax increases and so the impression of even greater promise arises, as if the pleasure continues to grow without end. Then it becomes so strong that it turns into an orgasmic climax that culminates in a very short orgasm (lasting 2 or 3 seconds), usually accompanied by ejaculation.
Is that all? Yes, in most cases it's everything. From a physiological point of view, it's everything. In fact, it's a reflex activity, a reproductive programme that, according to women, is too fast.
The average duration of sexual intercourse is 15 minutes. Love is made more by instinct, often mechanically, resulting in an anaemic and short-lived state of fulfilment.
This reflex activity is a way of experiencing unconscious sexuality in the early days, especially when the lovers are young, when they know nothing and are in a state of innocence.
By making love in the way described above, the immediate impulses are consumed, in turn leading to vulgarisation. So, to avoid the end of falling in love and the loss of desire over time, they either change lovers or seek external stimuli (films, photographs, pills, etc).
These can all be quick fixes that work for a while, but prove unsatisfactory in the long term. These temporary solutions actually prevent the establishment of deep relationships and libertinism will act like a drug and, if you avoid all this, everything seems to become lifeless.
This way of interacting in intimate relationships is just sex, not love. It's a way in which pleasure is sought in external stimulation, in the arousal of the senses, in erogenous stimulation that makes us judge mentally but which, at the same time, tires us out and doesn't satisfy our lust for life.
It's a very common idea that ejaculation is the inevitable climax of male arousal and, implicitly, of orgasm, i.e. this is where the lovemaking ends.
The reality, in most cases, is very sad - it's the picture of an unsatisfied woman whose lover ejaculated after a few minutes of unbridled passion and then fell asleep snoring on top of her.
Post-ejaculatory symptoms have been known for at least 4,000 years. They were recorded by the Yellow Emperor's sexual counsellors. According to the ancient Taoist sages, the brief moments of pleasure during ejaculation cannot compensate for the hours of exhaustion that follow. The little death (la petit mort), as the French call ejaculation, is seen as a betrayal of male pleasure. A dangerous loss of vitality that can be avoided.
However, there is something that all men, even without practising Tantra, have experienced in their lives, in their first love relationships with a woman. It's called the magic of the moment when you begin a loving relationship as a couple. The shared experiences of sensual and erotic fusion, the meeting of the bodies and hearts of the two, propelled them for some time into extraordinary states of love and genuine happiness.
When this impulse towards each other is extinguished, the energy of the beginning and the magic of the encounter disappear and the fusion of love becomes nothing more than masturbation for two. This is what leads some couples to multiply their encounters and move from woman to woman without ever being satisfied.
Taoists rightly advocate the practice of love without ejaculation. Happy people who managed to keep their seed while making love and afterwards strengthened their vital essence, improved their sight and hearing, got rid of illnesses, achieved deep peace and, above all, lived longer.
Nowadays this practice is known as coitus rezervatus. It is the loving fusion between a woman and a man, in which the state of pleasure, of orgasm, is separated from the reflex phenomenon of ejaculation, which no longer occurs, being interrupted at will, definitively, without even a drop of sexual fluid (sperm) being lost.
This is the first very important step necessary for a man who wants to become a true tantric lover, namely to perfectly control the erotic energy resulting from the act of love.In this way, he can consciously stop the loss of his creative potential before reaching the point of no return, the point at which ejaculation is inevitable. Through this perfect control, the man fully experiences orgasm as an implosion of happiness and fulfilment that lasts and reverberates in his inner universe for days on end, and not as an explosion in which the pleasure lasts only a few seconds and then stops, feeling invigorated and wanting nothing more.
As long as the man and woman stop wasting their substantial creative potential through ejaculation and the massive loss of energy, the couple's pleasure and happiness will increase without limit.The fusion of love will no longer be a banal, short and fast gallop, but a dance full of eroticism, a plunge into rivers of energy in which the heart opens up to the miracle of love.In fact, it's a reflex activity, a reproductive programme that, according to women, is too fast.
The average duration of sexual intercourse is 15 minutes.Love is made more by instinct, often mechanically, resulting in an anaemic and short-lived state of fulfilment.
By trying our massages with the various add-ons chosen specifically in the direction of pure, conscious eroticism, you can rekindle the flame of passion in your heart, because you'll know how to charm your partner or, if you don't have a partner yet, it's good to prepare yourself so that you can be at your best when she comes into your life. Either way, you'll attract her much more quickly if you're a virile man who is aware of his heightened masculinity.